Posted by: watchman | June 23, 2009

Exasperated: A Prayer

Almighty Father,

I am sickened by this bile, this reprehensible taste in my mouth. It is brought on by the jackhammer inundation of your people (all of us) playing games in your name.

I am weary, and worn down by the constant bitter battles over the same issues, the same themes. Year after year, gathering after gathering, from church to church we battle. Shots are fired, words are twisted, and innocents are caught in the crossfire.

Church battles.
Denominational battles.
Personal battles.
Political battles.

Honestly, Father, there are times that you know I’d rather just give up. Sometimes I can’t remember what we are fighting about, which is not as bad as forgetting what we are fighting for.

I do not fight for you. That is something you are more than capable of on your own. Nor are you insecure enough to demand a melee in return for relationship (as some would have me believe).

Then, Father, do I fight for the Church? Her dilapidation is so depressing. Such a beauty was my mother once, yet now, through sundry lovers’ abuse, she is this gruesome thing – all used up. Why should I defend her? She is abusive, and too blinded by her own ambition to even see your will and love. Too carnal to be spiritual. Too distracted by power and greed to care about me at all.

What am I fighting for? Is it worth it?

I Await your Presence, Your Guidance…




  1. Although it hurt to read this one, your vulnerability didn’t go without impact. Thanks for putting yourself out there. It’s good to see your heart.

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