Posted by: watchman | June 27, 2009

Rant: Fundy Preachers

This is often a blog about bad churches, but bad leaders are also responsible for a lot of hurt. I ran across a hilarious website called “Stuff Fundies Like” and I spent way too much time laughing and remembering my experiences with fundamentalist churches.

So, for those of you that grew up fundy, reminisce with me, will you? Here are the most annoying things about fundy preachers:

  • The Suit. Let’s be honest, most fundies are broke. They send all their money to their favorite tape ministries, overseas missionaries, and the National Rifle Association. However, every single fundy I knew had a closet full of suits. It gets even funnier on the campuses of Fundy Bible colleges, where the preacher boys out fashion the rest of the students in their preparation for the gospel ministry. This guy can even get a dress code out of Romans 12.

    *By the way, “Be not conformed” to a fundy, almost always means live life like you’re in a 1950’s TV show*

      • Bible Signing. I recall the times when a big shot Evangelist or preacher would come to town. He would spend an hour ranting and make us all feel like dirt, then after the 20 minute invitation, we would all rush up to him and ask him to sign our Bibles. I was at a Bible college once where people showed off the signatures of great preachers who had signed their Bible. With fundies, preachers are rock stars. The worst example of this I have ever seen is found here. Watch the clip at least until Hudson comes in – CARRIED ON A THRONE!
        • Rough Preachin‘. Fundies love “old fashion fire and brimstone” preaching. They especially love the kind where the preacher gets “in their business.” Typically, the preacher will take an obscure Old Testament passage, which makes a catchy one-liner and then proceed to rant about whatever he wants to. “Where is the House of Ephraim? They are busy buying pants for their women to wear!”
        • Amen. Preach, Preacher! Some preachers get mad if people don’t give them some positive feedback about their preaching. If you are a good church member, then you start amening when the preacher gives the scripture reference. You get especially loud when he repeats the scripture reference. A pastor once told me that only immature preachers evaluate themselves based on the response of the congregation. Too many preachers (not just fundy) use the sermon as their weekly ego boost. Which brings me too…
          • Narcissism – The Fundy preacher’s biggest fan is usually that very same fundy preacher. he can’t stand it when he is not the center of attention. Here, Jack Hyles yells about how he cant preach unless the pulpit is in the middle of the stage. That pretty much says it all.

          When we gather, we gather to glorify our God. We gather to be edified by the teaching of scripture.

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          Responses

          1. Thanks for the shout out. It’s been a blast writing for the site.

          2. I spent way too much time late last night watching these videos, then checking out Stuff Fundies Like (and of course subscribing to it), and then checking out the latest Fundy Website of the Week. So funny (so sad too)…

          3. Corey, lookin at some of this stuff…I don’t get the issue with the top button on preachers suit. Could you shed some light on it for if you know?
            This Hyle guy…wow…I can’t believe ppl actually listen to him…..So sad … ppl being slaughtered in such a way… I wonder what God thinks of this…

          4. Sorry, Kathy, took too long to get back to you.

            Hyles is griping about top button preachers. To him, any preacher that is buttoned all the way up is not “leather-lunged.” in other words, if you don’t yell, you are not a real preacher.

            Reminds of something I heard a minister say once:
            “before you pound the pulpit, you should learn to expound the scriptures.”

            Jack Hyles has passed away. However, he is still considered to be almost a patron saint among fundies.

            As to what God thinks of all this, he has either remained painfully silent, or we can’t hear him over all the yelling.


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