Botolff is Old English for "messenger wolf."

Botolff is Old English for "messenger wolf."

I chose a wolf because I have an affinity to wolves.  They are loyal, strongly communal but secure in their individuality, playful, wise, cautious but committed, protective, risk takers, strong yet submissive, creative, adventurous, caring, compassionate, willing to be angry but also to mourn, at times careless, but rarely reckless.

I chose a howling wolf to symbolize the call I am making to wounded clergy to come and tell your story alongside mine.  I know that it can feel cold, dark and lonely on this path.  There is comfort and strength in numbers.  You are not alone, and your story is important.

I am a Pastor who was forcefully terminated from my youth ministry position in June of 2008.  Like anyone who has become the sacrificial lamb for an abusive system, I have experienced all the symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) that come with being the vessel for people’s sin and shame.  The headaches, the sleepless nights, the anxiety attacks and cold sweats, the days of exhaustion but the lack of rest, the loss of appetite, the fear of being abused again, the states of depression and the insatiable feelings of rage.  In spite of all the trauma and turmoil, I have survived…even more…I live.

What’s your story?

Feel free to e-mail me at

%d bloggers like this: